The week after Elise died was filled with painful decisions, wonderful conversations, and an outpouring of so much love and so many prayers for which we will forever be grateful. People we hardly knew or had never met sent us their thoughts, hugged us tightly, told us their own stories of loss...and continue to do so. People we've known for a long time, our friends and family, were (and are) so good to us. They performed the mundane household tasks that really made life easier and took on the important work of listening to us without turning away from our pain.
We held a short visitation on Friday, and a funeral mass at our church on Saturday morning, followed by her burial in the children's section of a cemetary near our church. It was all so difficult but, at the same time, so necessary and beautiful.
The hard work of grief continues for us daily.
Elise Nora
Our beautiful baby girl. 7lbs, 2 oz. 10/3/08-10/7/08
Our Family
Our first and only family picture
9 comments:
Stephanie,
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. She is beautiful. I will pray that your heart have some sort of peace knowing that she is in the arms of Jesus. God bless.
Elise is always on our minds. She'll forever be our beautiful sweet baby niece who was the brightest light and made us look at the world with new open eyes. She is our tiny angel and you guys are inspiring with your strength. Love you.
Stephanie
I found your blog through a link Megan posted. I just wanted to tell you what an amazing person you are for sharing Elise's story. She is truly a beautiful little girl whose light will continue to shine through your words. You and your family are in my thoughts and wishes.
Jenny
Stephanie and AJ,
We contiunually think of you every day and keep you in our prayers. The fraility of life is difficult, but it is comforting to know that sweet Elise is in Heaven again. Thinking of you often.
I continue to follow your story and keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find some peace in knowing how much your little Elise has touched so many people and so many hearts.
Scarlett
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m very sorry for your loss. My husband and I experienced the loss of our first born (son) 8 years ago. Reading your story brought everything back in a most painful way. So many things you experienced were similar to our story: uneventful pregnancy, wanting a natural child birth, reading everything we could get our hands on about raising a baby, sending the baby to the NICU shortly after birth, transfer to a more capable hospital, waiting to follow my child when the hospital would release me, intubations, testing galour, trying to remain calm while the bad news pours in and gets worse all the time, pumping every three hours, knowing we needed to let him go and not hold onto him for our own selfish reasons, letting the immediate family hold him before we let him go, bathing him, and then finally turning off the machine so that he could go home to be with the Lord.
I’m a strong person with 2 children since then (David Gabriel Thompson 7 years, and Olivia Grace Thompson 5 years). I can tell you the months ahead may be difficult. You’ve spent 9 months preparing to start a new life with this child. It may take just as long getting used to not having that new life to care for. You may feel depressed, angry, emotionless, guilty for moving on…etc All these happen at different times. This is all normal. Some small advice: Continue to cherish your relationship with your husband. Be okay with the onslaught of emotions or lack thereof. Know you will get past this and be stronger for it. Don’t feel guilty if you go through an entire day or week and forget about her. The one year anniversary is hard. Mother’s day and Fathers day are hard. Prepare for these and be okay with the range of emotions that happen. These are all apart of the healing process.
What I can tell you 8 years later are these things: I still miss him. I don’t dread dying because I know I will see him in heaven and I look forward to seeing him some day. I still acknowledge his birthday and wonder what he would be like. Some years I feel totally fine, other years I miss him and cry. I hear his little voice in my head sometimes just like when I first heard him cry after he was born and it breaks my heart. Then I feel better. I don’t ask why anymore. I know he’s in a safe place. I enjoy the two children I do have more than I can say. I know life is precious and that God gave me two children that I could love beyond my wildest dreams. Know that nothing and no one can replace your daughter, but that God, and only God, can fill the void and emptiness.
God Bless Your Family,
Elaine Thompson
Found your blod through Stacy's and wanted to let you know that I am praying for peace for you.
Cynthia
love you baby--mama
Dear Stephanie and AJ,
I just spent the past 2 days visiting with your mom. We talked about Elise and looked at her beautiful pictures. Was any baby more loved?
Stephanie, when your mom told me about Elise's death the powerful and comforting image care of your Great Grandmother Debski, Auntie Mary and your wonderful grandmother embracing and loving Elise as you do.
Take care of each other. No need to be strong for anyone.
I think about you, your mom and Elise everyday. Love, Judy
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